


Everyone lost

by Shadowsof_thenight



Series: After the war [3]
Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Grief/Mourning, Other, Post Infinity War, Sadness, aftermath of IW
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-12
Updated: 2019-04-12
Packaged: 2020-01-12 08:48:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 943
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18443126
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shadowsof_thenight/pseuds/Shadowsof_thenight
Summary: Follow Bruce as he too deals with the aftermath of the snap.





	Everyone lost

**Author's Note:**

> Two weeks ago I wondered if there would be any more people to add to this series and I had thought that it would not go beyond the previous two.  
> And then two days ago, I suddenly got this idea.  
> I hope you like it!

_Everyone had lost someone._

The line rang through his head on a loop. Thy all had their share of losses to carry. Burdens to shoulder. He was no different. Besides his teammates, he had been afraid to find out just how big his burden was. He was caught between hope and fear, and while it was horrible and dark and scary. He figured it was much better than knowing just how many people he had lost.  
Bruce had seen his friends and teammates turn t dust, scattered in the wind. He had seen the remaining people break down. Broken heart and crushed souls were the order of the day. He too grieved. For Vision. And Wanda. For Peter and T'Challa. For Shuri, who had already outsmarted him at such a young age. He grieved for Fury and Maria. Sam and Bucky. And so many others. Plenty of them he had only sparsely known. But it was enough to grieve them. They were all innocent. And they had been lost. Because they had failed to stop their faith. He had failed.  
He had not even wanted to look up Betty. They had not spoken in a long time and perhaps it had been better not to know what had become of her after the snap. However, Thaddeus had made sure he knew. Thinking it would fuel his fire. His need to fix what had happened. But all it did was show Bruce one more person he had failed. And he had failed so many already. 

He had not been able to shake that feeling, the idea that it would have made a difference. That he could have made a difference. If only he had become the hulk that day. Bruce knew the fight would have been different. He would have been different. Instead he had been in a suit that he had still been trying to figure out. A suit he had limited control over. Not that he had more control over hulk, but hulk had shown his good qualities in the past. Had shown his willingness to help the avengers, or more likely to help innocent people. 

What would have happened if he had turned? If his green alter ego had shown his face that day?  
Would he have been able to keep Tony from going into outer space? Would he have been able to keep Vision safe? Or even stop Thanos? He wasn't sure. He couldn't be sure and the doubt ate away at him. 

Bruce wondered if he would ever get a reprieve from his thoughts? From his fears and guilty conscience? He didn't even remember how it felt, for them to not be weighing on his mind, body and soul. A soul that he was certain to be black at this point. All the horror, all the pain. It must have tainted him. It broke him and turned him inside out. It had pulled him into the pits of hell, only to spit him out once it had enough of him. And he was left with the unimaginable pain that echoed inside his brain. And he knew he was not alone. 

One look at the people he had come to know the past few years, said all he needed to know. Before there was always someone to ease his fears. To quench his doubts. Now there was no one. Not because they stopped caring. Or because they gave up. They were simply too caught up in their own grief. Their own pain. Their own burdens that they carried around with them. It weighed as heavily on them as it did on him, he was certain of that. 

Their numbers had plummeted. Their spirit now broken. And he didn't know how to help them. He couldn’t. He was too caught up in his own pain as well, unable to shake it long enough to reassure any of them. They all lost so much that day. Some would say they had lost everything. Because they had lost their will to fight. Their motivation. The world was a little darker now. And very much empty. 

He knew eventually the rest of his friends would pick themselves up and they would fight to live another day. They were strong. Resilient. And brave. What was he? He didn't know.  
Sure he was smart. And his wonderful alter ego was strong. But Hulk was nowhere to be found at the moment. Not wanting to show himself. So he was left with smart. And smart did not do them much good at this point. At least not his kind of smart. 

They needed a game plan. A strategy to fix what had happened. And he could not provide it. There was only hoping that someone else could. And if there was a plan, he knew what his place would be. He would find hulk inside of himself and wager an agreement. He would find him, make peace and hopefully get him to fight again. And if that all worked....he would fight until his very last breath to bring back all those that had been lost to the snap. He would gladly trade his life for theirs. Give them a future that was so rudely taken away. Give them all they deserved. Even if it would cost him everything, he would still do it without hesitation. 

And suddenly doubt left him, leaving behind all the grief. And the fear. Yet adding something new to the mix as well. Determination. He would fight. And he would do everything in his power. He would fix this mess they were in. All he had to do was figure out how.


End file.
